Knowledge always comes with a price. It cost Odin an eye, Adam his accommodation and Prometheus, repeatedly, his liver. In our case, it is covered by European tax payers and administered by the Oracles of Bruxelles. This is a guide on how to access the ever burning, ever consuming fire of academia. And a warning of the eternal punishment.
The first thing you need to know about the path to wisdom is how to obtain the grace of the Oracles. The Oracles are not the wielders of divine influence but they act as our only means of communication with the Gods. Their language is mysterious and abstract, an entire reality of words disconnected from sensual impressions and practical experience. You must learn this language, and they will attribute meaning to absurdities and contradictions that go far beyond the bounderies of scholarly decency. If you succeed in this step, and your prayers are delivered, there is a fair chance that the Gods will provide.
Now begins the rain of gifts, and you find yourself drowning in the generosity of the Gods. What appear mere droplets to these mighty beings, are to mortals like oceans crashing into the land, swallowing entire cities and crushing the fragile structures made by man (viz. Humanity – a simple poetic choice, no intentions of male dominance). The blessed receiver is humbled by the immensity at first, but soon corrupted by the power of employing these infinite resources. The gift becomes a curse. Like the first woman.(literary reference, on no account am I accountable for such a notion)
The destructive power of money attracts the hyenas of academia. This is an ancient race, but ever evolving and ever greedy. To the untrained eye, these are often dificult to tell from the bold and philanthropic explorers of honest, and to the unconcerned and detached Oracles completely indistinguishable.